Of Course He's Dead - Part Two

Of Course He's Dead - Part One

Don't Give a Monkey a Gun

Boompa Loved His Hookers

A Beer-Battered Rip-Off

For Whom the Booty Calls

Here I Come, Pants!

Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, Lyndsey

Family, Bublé, Deep-fried Turkey

Sex With an Animated Ed Asner

Alan Shot a Little Girl

Oontz Oontz Oontz

Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-Eight

Glamping in a Yurt

A Chic Bar in Ibiza

The Ol’ Mexican Spinach

Oh, WALD-E, Good Times Ahead

Dial 1-900-Mix-A-Lot

Lotta Delis in Little Armenia

Lan Mao Shi Zai Wuding Shang

West Side Story

Welcome Home, Jake

How to Get Rid of Alan Harper

Cab Fare and a Bottle of Penicillin

Three Fingers of Crème de Menthe

Bite Me, Supreme Court

Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball.

Tazed In The Lady Nuts

On Vodka, on Soda, on Blender, on Mixer!

Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer

Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room

Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie

Justice In Star-Spangled Hot Pants

Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003

Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank

This Unblessed Biscuit

I Think I Banged Lucille Ball

Nangnangnangnang

Cows, Prepare To Be Tipped

My Bodacious Vidalia

Another Night With Neil Diamond

Bazinga! That's From A TV Show

Big Episode. Someone Stole A Spoon

The 9:04 From Pemberton

Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries

Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby

Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It

Run, Steven Staven! Run!

Grab A Feather And Get In Line

Welcome to Alancrest

Give Santa A Tail-Hole

One Nut Johnson

I Scream When I Pee

Something My Gynecologist Said

Avoid the Chinese Mustard

Ferrets, Attack!

That's Not What They Call It In Amsterdam

You Do Know What The Lollipop Is For

Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt

A Big Bag of Dog

I Changed My Mind About the Milk

Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!

The Straw In My Donut Hole

Why We Gave Up Women

Mr. Hose Says 'Yes'

Grandma's Pie

Palmdale, Ech

The War Against Gingivitis

Not In My Mouth

Sips, Sonnets And Sodomy

The Duchess of Dull-In-Sack

A Possum on Chemo

Slowly and in a Circular Fashion

One False Move, Zimbabwe!

What a Lovely Landing Strip

A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes

Frodo’s Headshots

Thank You For The Intercourse

Those Fancy Japanese Toilets

The Squat and The Hover

A Giant Cat Holding a Churro

Nine Magic Fingers

Big Girls Don't Throw Food

People Who Love Peepholes (2)

Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt (1)

That Darn Priest

Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak

Lookin' for Japanese Subs

Skunk, Dog Crap and Ketchup

Chocolate Diddlers Or My Puppy's Dead

Dead From The Waist Down

Ow, Ow, Don't Stop

A Good Time in Central Africa

Springtime On A Stick

The Crazy Bitch Gazette

Twanging Your Magic Clanger

The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel

Hookers, Hookers, Hookers

A Pudding-Filled Cactus

A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer

Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud

This Is Not Gonna End Well

Gumby with a Pokey

I Called Him Magoo

Keith Moon is Vomiting in his Grave

Ixnay on the Oggie Day

I Found Your Mustache

Tinkle Like a Princess

Aye, Aye, Captain

Crude and Uncalled For

Yay, No Polyps!

Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste

Warning, It's Dirty

That's Why They Call It Ball Room

Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair

Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.

Untainted by Filth

Give Me Your Thumb

For the Sake of the Child

Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator

Mmm, fish. Yum.

Whipped Unto the Third Generation

818-jklpuzo

Baseball with Better Steroids

Good Morning, Mrs. Butterworth

Sir Lancelot's Litter Box

Above Exalted Cyclops

Hello, I Am Alan Cousteau

The Two Finger Rule

My Son's Enormous Head

The 'Ocu' Or The 'Pado'?

She'll Still Be Dead At Halftime

I'd Like to Start With the Cat

David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie

I Think You Offended Don

Thank God for Scoliosis

The Devil's Lube

He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited

The Mooch At The Boo

Pinocchio's Mouth

Best H.O. Money Can Buy

It's Always Nazi Week

A Jock Strap In Hell

The Flavin' and the Mavin'

Damn You, Eggs Benedict

Pie Hole, Herb

Taterhead Is Our Love Child

Waiting for the Right Snapper

If My Hole Could Talk

Fish in a Drawer

Look at Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty

Rough Night in Hump Junction

Winky-Dink Time

The Soil is Moist

A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh

Meander To Your Dander

Kinda Like Necrophilia

Tight's Good

Is There a Mrs. Waffles?

The Leather Gear Is In The Guest Room

Help Daddy Find His Toenail

Putting Swim Fins on a Cat

City of Great Racks

Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo

Media Room Slash Dungeon

Large Birds, Spiders and Mom

Prostitutes and Gelato

Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-lookin

Mr. McGlue's Feedbag

Tucked, Taped & Gorgeous

Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot (2)

Smooth as a Ken Doll (1)

It Never Rains in Hooterville

I Merely Slept with a Commie

Young People Have Phlegm Too

My Damn Stalker

That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami

Don't Worry, Speed Racer

Castrating Sheep in Montana

Walnuts and Demerol

Kissing Abraham Lincoln

Corey's Been Dead for an Hour

Release the Dogs

Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head

Apologies for the Frivolity

A Live Woman of Proven Fertility

A Pot Smoking Monkey

The Sea is a Harsh Mistress

Who's Vod Kanockers

Working for Caligula

That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite

Arguments for the Quickie

Just Once With Aunt Sophie

And the Plot Moistens

Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro

Golly Moses, She's A Muffin

The Spit-Covered Cobbler

The Unfortunate Little Schnauser

Ergo, The Booty Call

My Tongue is Meat

Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded

Humiliation is a Visual Medium

That Special Tug

Santa's Village of the Damned

Something Salted and Twisted

Madame and Her Special Friend

That Voodoo That I Do Do

Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop

Hi, Mr. Horned One

We Called It Mr. Pinky

Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs

Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark

Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover

Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts

Does This Smell Funny to You?

Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab

That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother

A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On

I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey

A Low, Gutteral Tongue-Flapping Noise

It Was Mame, Mom

Woo-Hoo, A Hernia-Exam!

Can You Eat Human Flesh With Wooden Teeth?

Smell the Umbrella Stand

Those Big Pink Things with Coconut

Zejdz z Moich Wlosów a.k.a. Get Off My Hair

A Lungful of Alan

Last Chance to See Those Tattoos

The Salmon Under My Sweater

Yes, Monsignor

Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers

A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana

The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance

Bad News from the Clinic

Go Get Mommy's Bra

A Bag Full of Jawea

Enjoy Those Garlic Balls

Back Off Mary Poppins

Can You Feel My Finger?

Just Like Buffalo

My Doctor has a Cow Puppet

No Sniffing, No Wowing

Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark

I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember

An Old Flame With a New Wick

Ate The Hamburgers, Wearing The Hats

That Was Saliva, Alan (2)

Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick (1)

I Can't Afford Hyenas

Sarah Like Puny Alan

Camel Filters + Pheromones

Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

Merry Thanksgiving

Phase One, Complete

Twenty-Five Little Pre-pubers Without a Snoot-

If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake

Did You Check With the Captain of the Flying M

The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up With a H

If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song I'm Going t

Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of

Big Flappy Bastards

Pilot